Success

I am a successful educator
I spend every moment outside the classroom thinking
about my kids and how I can teach them the curriculum
with fun, hands-on activities
I do lesson planning in my sleep.
When I come home,
I hear their voices in my mind
Mrs. Simsim...
I'm telling...
Mrs. Simisim...
Teacher...
Sometimes I think I'm going crazy
but I've been here far too long to be going!
The voices are memories, not schizo messages
but I can never make them stop.
I am falling behind typing up my lessons and reflections.
Sometimes it's a day to day basis
but I have read and reread the curriculum so many times
and I reflect on everything all day anyways,
I can store it all in my head.
It's not that I'm unprepared, I just
make everything harder than it has to be
I use ridiculous amounts of energy
to polish and perfect everything.
I hear it gets easier with time
but it's been accumulating and getting harder,
but not as hard as yelling at my kids when they misbehave
or stopping a fun activity because
TV has spoiled their attention spans
and they naturally want to express their excitement
in a non-sit down fashion.
I am still working at a level above their heads
My challenge is breaking everything down to the simplest steps
I keep thinking they are grade 5 and can read instructions
it's so easy to fall into colouring and cut and paste worksheets
and free for all fun fests labeled as art
but my obligation is that in grade 2 they will be ready.
I need to provide structure and prepare them
for the next 12 years of their lives.
This is not the time in my life I should teach Jr High
My teaching sense is tuned to primary
They're just so damn cute