Trying to Understand

I follow my heart to suffering
my best intentions lead to pain
imagination and false hopes deadly
to the budding reality
I cradle in my hands

You were interested in me
you would catch my attention
ask me to do things with you
call when you say you'll call
gazing into your eyes as your true smile
spread across your face, the sunrise

Then came drink
and all the words you used to snare my heart
your soft kisses
I was so afraid but I would do anything for you
I didnt want to be your girlfriend until you asked me to be
someone else still holds my heart

One day you were so cold
you didnt avoid me
but you wouldnt touch me
I wonder what you are thinking
if I'll ever understand

At least you were honest
in telling me you were seeing other people
tried so hard not to get jealous
but my heart was shattered
I hid my tears
felt like you didnt even want to see me
but you stayed when you could have left

Tried to explain things to me
hard to take as poison
that you take it all back
that you're ashamed
I knew it was the last night I'd have my man in my bed

I wasnt what you wanted
A fool for believing in you
slowly sank back into the dark depths
of my misery and loneliness

My heart can't give up on you
I want so bad to believe you didnt lie to me
and that I can trust you